Wise Life Lessons

Defeating Desperation

The feeling of desperation can be one of the most frustrating emotions that one can deal with when faced with stressful intense situations. At almost every stage of life, there is a moment where someone is faced with that severe feeling of desperation no matter how grounded they might be.  An example of this for me was seen when I was a new teenager who was heavily engaged in the sport of basketball.  Playing extremely competitive basketball for the American Amateur Union at a very young age and even into my teens playing high school varsity basketball all four years, came with all sorts of ups and downs.  There were a point and time when my parents and I did not know which basketball travel team I should play for when I was around twelve-thirteen years old.  I know you might think that that does not sound like a very desperate situation, but due to the amount of time, energy, blood, sweat, and tears that my family and I put into the sport; it was a very big deal at the time.  Most of my life during that time centered around playing the sport of basketball, and finding a good team where I could showcase my talents as well as be challenged, was essential for me in my hoops journey.  The feeling of desperation was pretty intense amongst my parents as well as for me.  Interestingly enough, I was the one who offered the solution to defeating our feelings of angst desperation.  I simply told my dad one time on the way back from school: “Don’t worry about what team I should go to, God will work it out”.  Ironically, very soon after that, I was able to join a team and put my 12-13-year-old talents on full display.  My faith and a strong belief that God would clear a path for me to play on a team were so strong that I did not have any feelings of desperation, which surprised my parents who were more worried than I was.

The strong belief in something (for me is my faith in God), can help a person to have a substantial form of stability/support through tough desperate times.  Holding onto something that you have an intense belief in, can help to navigate you through those turbulent waters of desperation onto a dry grounded way of thinking; which will give you the reassurance that it is not the end of the world as you know it.

Another way in which a person can defeat desperation is through the mustering of inner confidence and the squashing of self-doubt.

Inner confidence/believing in yourself is essential to abolish the overwhelming feelings of desperation and give a person a form of steadiness or calm amidst the storm.  Recognizing that it is not the end of the world, allows a person the chance to put things in a more organized perspective, creating a balanced regime of refined focus.  The resilient nature which builds up in someone as a result of this confidence can be life-changing because the ability to “bounce back” gives a person a unique quality to not crack under the pressure.  Not allowing the feeling of desperation to separate you from hope for your future and a positive yet realistic outlook on life will help anyone in any generation in the long run.  It is very easy to allow your emotions to overtake you in daily life.  Someone cuts you off on the freeway and then slows down immediately as if another car is in front of them when you know there is no one in front of you…yeah you know that feeling I’m talking about.  No matter how desperate you are to speed around them, most of us know that we have to use self -control when there isn’t an opening to get around them.  Despite the chaos of the situation, keeping a cool head and recognizing that your emotions are liable to change whenever they want since they are not rational or think; can help you through those desperate times.  It really doesn’t matter what generation you are from, for you to understand the importance of how mustering up your confidence can help to give you some breathing room and resilience amidst your time of struggle.  As a result of drumming up this inner confidence on the flip side, I also believe that it is essential that one pushes down self-doubt.  Self-doubt can be a side effect to giving in to the overwhelming fear that desperation brings.  The uncertainty in one’s abilities usually derives from these feelings of: “I sincerely do not know what to do now”.  Once you start to doubt yourself, the breakdown starts to begin mentally.  For some, that breakdown is needed for them to build themselves back up from scratch confidence-wise.  For others, a breakdown can shatter their confidence, which is why the repelling of self-doubt in those moments of desperation is quintessential for their well being.

You are unique, you are somebody important, you are priceless, and you are human.

I hope that last sentence wasn’t too melodramatic.

I hope that this helps you guys in your journey of defeating desperation.  It certainly is helping me. 

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